1. Of all the shapes to choose from, it had to be this one. Lets give them the benefit of doubt. Perhaps the railing was constructed on a cloudy day and the contractor was in a rush.





2.  I can’t imagine any scenario in which space is at this much of a premium. How do you even fit under there? and please dont tell me its still same place you wash your hands when you are done
where the f*** is this architect








3.  I can only imagine that the contractor who built this house found a way to go around a petition for the playground to remain in place. or he never planed on letting anyone play with this




4.  This staircase makes me wonder whether they built it from the top. If you are going to start something, you might as well finish it. Especially if its the way to the top or bottom.


5.  When the foreman is too drunk to inspect the building. Seriously, how do you forget to add a door for the balcony?


6.  Clearly didn’t want to anger the gods by disrupting nature.



7.  I am no engineer but i believe a wheelchair would require a lot of momentum to go up these stairs. Nonetheless, points for effort



8.  I would expect an archer to miss the target but this is not even close to a situation that allows one to miss the target



9.  Well, this is weird. How thoughtful to put a window there. I wonder if the light can go through the bricks of that chimney



10.  Perhaps this door belongs to a time when everyone carries a jet pack.

Crucifix appears in Nasarawa mosque; hundreds troop out for miracle

 

The actress posted the pictures online on her Instagram account, wearing that print floral trouser and black shoulder top, which left fans drooling over her sexy slim waist and huge b00bs for a mother with 3 kids. Very impressive woman i must say… More photos and fans reactions below…

“Chinakwe is a lover of dogs and he names them after things that tickle him. He bought this dog a year ago and named it Buhari.

Unfortunately, some Northerners, who dominate the vicinity where he resides misconstrued his intention and connived to take him up.

The complainant then claimed it was derogatory because his father answers Buhari,” Chiedozie said.

I have made enquiries. The man bought a dog and inscribed Buhari on both sides of its body. One Mallam lodged a complaint and when our men got there, we found out that it was true. You know such thing can cause serious breach of the peace and ethnic or religious unrest. We are charging him to court for conduct likely to cause a breach of peace.

He was arrested last Saturday and we are taking him to court later today (Tuesday) or tomorrow morning (Wednesday). You know an average Northerner will feel bad over such a thing. It can cause serious ethnic crisis or religious confrontation because when you are relegating such a name to a certain person, you are indirectly insulting him.

The last child of the founder of Winners General Overseer, Bishop David Oyedepo, has stirred up controversies on social media after she posted a photo of herself which she tagged ‘crazy’.

In a social media post tagged ‘CRAZY’, Joyce Oyedepo, the last child of Bishop David Oyedepo, the General Overseer of Winners Chapel, has stirred up controversies and media reactions.

According to DailyPost, Joyce took to her Facebook page on Sunday, saying she tried as much as possible to be who she really is and the that post had since trailed mixed reactions on social media.

Below is what she wrote:-

    “Those who know me know that I’m crazy. I don’t blend in. I’m the one who’s ‘yingin’ when everyone else is ‘yangin’. I’ve been called an outcast by many outsiders. But the more I tried to fit in, the more I stood out. My differences wouldn’t let me stay the same.

    “Every day, I’ve come to let the differences that make me, shine through. Tired of the need to stay the same, I’ve come to accept the real me.

    “I’m not the same. And as long as I stay rare, there’d always be a need for all of me. For there would always be room for rarity. I have decided not to let the miracle of my birth be the sole miracle of my existence. The proof, is in my crazy.

    “I’ve received way too many personal messages about this post below and so for the honest few, I have chosen to make a few things clear. It seems that many of us have misunderstood things too easily.

    “You all have seen my posts for a while now, some of you have seen them for years on end, and you know that I absolutely adore my family. That cannot, has not, and will not ever change. Anyone who tries to insinuate any different is purely looking for loopholes that just don’t exist.

    “To that group, you may need to find more profitable work because that, already is a failed venture. Then, there is this other group that expects me to be EXACTLY like my mother or sister, who are role models to many including myself, especially myself.

    “Thing is, you also may need to edit your expectation because that too, will not be happening. I’m me and will never be anyone else. I can never be anyone else and will not even try to.

    “I love that my sister and I are not walking replicas of my mother. She teaches us not to be. She teaches that we are who God has called us to be, and that, with all sincerity. Our differences make us unique, and that makes us an epic loving family. That, we are grateful to God for.

    “Ps, “crazy” purely means/meant different.

    “This, you would understand if you read through the post honestly, completely and some of us, without negative intent. So, to those who honestly were confused on the original post, I hope you have received the needed clarity, but to those still looking for loopholes, sorry, failed venture.

    “Be you. Be who God created you to be. Yes, have role models (& you always can start with my mother and sister–right here on Facebook even if you have nowhere else to turn).

    “But don’t ever try to dim your uniqueness to fit in with the “world’s” definition of perfect. God bless y’all,” she added.

Nigerians can be so funny most times….. I bet none of you ever thought this words ain’t in the dictionary.
Well, You read it on Naijaloaded, Do Your Findings.. You can’t find any of them in the dictionary except the one written by a Nigerian

1. Installmentally
This doesn’t exist anywhere else except only in Nigeria. If you doubt this, just search “Installmentally” on google and watch only Nigerian sites pop up.

2. Night-Vigil
This is another one I don’t understand. Does anyone ever hold a vigil during the day?

3. Cunny
This is not meant as a euphemism for the female body part. When Nigerians say this word, they mean “cunning”. How is that for a giant leap forward?

4. Disvirgin
How hard is it to say deflowered? It must be extremely difficult because even health professionals and newsmen use this absurd word that doesn’t exist.

5. Wake Keeping (Wake keep)
Nigerians have not only made the old European custom of watching over a corpse till it’s buried (called a wake) theirs, they have actually renamed it. Please, there is no such phrase as “wake keep” or even “wake keeping”.

pls lets hear more of them form you through your comments

      A day old baby girl in critical condition was abandoned near a transformer o pposite Phase Three Junction on the Kubwa expressway in Abuja on Wednesday August 10th.

      She has been transferred to the Kubwa General Hospital where she has been placed on life support.
The little girl was discovered by residents of the community and was immediately taken to the police station from where she was transferred to the hospital where doctors are working to ensure she is in good health.
See the disturbing photo of the baby Below…

As announced in smawznaija, whatsapp said :
we will soon be ending support for certain devices. At the end of 2016, we will no longer support the following platforms:
BlackBerry, including BlackBerry 10
Nokia S40

Nokia Symbian S60
Android 2.1 and Android 2.2
Windows Phone 7.1
iPhone 3GS/iOS 6

These platforms don't offer the kind of capabilities we need to expand our app's features in the future. If you use one of these affected mobile devices, we recommend upgrading to a newer Android running OS 2.3+, a Windows Phone 8+, or an iPhone running iOS 7+ before the end of 2016 to continue using WhatsApp.
Once you have one of these devices, simply install WhatsApp and verify your phone number on the new device to continue using WhatsApp. Keep in mind that WhatsApp can only be activated with one phone number on one device at a time.
There is currently no option to transfer your chat history between platforms. However, we provide the option to send your chat history attached to an email. Learn how to export your chat history on: Android | iPhone | Windows Phone | Nokia S40 | BlackBerry | Nokia S60 | BlackBerry 10 
Cheers,
WhatsApp Support TeamTeam

THIS IS A REALLY SCARY OR FEARFUL VIEW, REAL OR NOT

    Can you figure out how Special Effects Makeup Artist, Hakeem Onilogbo made this happen? 

Photo is from a war scene on a Nollywood movie set. Also see the zombies, men he gave boobs after the cut

    the nigerian movie industry would be needng guys like this and even better, if it intends to move to the next level in the film / movie industry

 
    

 

        The New York Post has published another old nude photo of Melania Trump, taken three years before she met her husband, the Republican presidential nominee, Donald Trump.

This young igbo guy warns of planed terrorist bomb blast in imo state planned to be carried out before the
end of the month or early next month, and claims it is planned by the okoroduhausa (lolz..)  crazy but scary and should be considered

    click to listen to his broadcast....

 

PHOTOS: 19yrs Old Girl Having An Affair With President Zuma, Shares Their Loved Up Photos

I don't know if I should say this is just one of those things. President Jacob Zuma of  South Africa already has enough wives, so I wonder what this small girl is doing with him.


She said he's a Blesser and that she's in love with him. Abeg I no fit laugh oh! Some women go soon attack President Zuma.

The 19-year-old girl, whose name was given as Lindokuhle Dlamini, shared these pics of herself and the old man, President Zuma, all loved up on social media and wrote:

“He is not just a blesser, we are in love and I am grateful for all that he has done for me, much love. Xo xo.” 

People say the word “Blesser” is commonly used, like Sugar Daddy here, to describe an older man who gives a lady money or gifts while having s*x with her. 

President Zuma is a polygamist but the South African Presidential spokesperson said they would look into how the pictures leaked. The girl's account has been deleted.

What are they looking into? Did President Zuma deny his 'girl'? Lol!

 
   When you hear some senators loyal to Bukola Saraki shouting, it is because they know the heat coming.

     An exclusive report by PT indicated that the Federal Government will rely on the testimony of 15 witnesses, among them National Assembly bureaucrats, at the trial of Bukola Saraki, Ike                  

Ekweremadu and other alleged conspirators over the ongoing case of forgery of Senate rules. Saraki and Ekweremadu, alongside the former Clerk to the National Assembly, Salisu Maikasuwa and his deputy, Benedict Efeturi, are accused of forging the Senate Standing Rules with which the upper chamber’s presiding officers were elected last year.
   
   
Prosecution’s case against Saraki and his alleged conspirators According to court documents,

“it is the prosecution’s case against the defendants that sometimes about the 9th day of June, 2015, the defendants conspired among themselves to forge and indeed actually forged the Senate Standing Order 2011 (as amended) and caused the said forged document to be circulated among elected senators for use during the inauguration of the 8thSenate of the National Assembly of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.”

   
The document – prosecution’s case summary – was signed by a Principal State Counsel, D.E Kaswe on behalf of the Minister of Justice and Attorney-General of the Federation, Abubakar Malami, and is among documents filed before the Abuja High Court. “It is the forged document that was used in the inauguration of the 8th National Assembly which paved the way for the election that ushered in the present leadership of the Senate,” added the document.
    Lawyers in the case told PT that the government planned to prove its case by tendering the 2011 and 2015 rules before the court before then proceeding to call 14 witnesses whose statements had been filed. Below are the fourteen witnesses to be called and what they will tell the court:

    1. Suleiman Hukunyi – He is the secretary of the Unity Forum, the Senate caucus consisting of All Progressives Congress lawmakers who opposed the election of Mr. Saraki, preferring Ahmed Lawan instead. Days after the election of Messrs Saraki and Ekweremadu as the Senate presiding officers, he petitioned the Inspector General of Police, demanding criminal investigation into the allegation of forgery of Senate Rules.
   The main thrust of the petition which would later land Mr. Saraki and his alleged conspirators in trouble was that the Standing Rules used for 2015 inauguration “purports to allow for secret instead of the open ballot system that has been prevalent in all Senate elections as permitted by the extant rules.” The infraction, he told the Police, arose from the “fraudulent production of rules without an approved consideration by the 7th Senate.” Mr. Hukunyi, according prosecution’s documents, including proof of evidence filed before the court, will testify how the “forged” Rules were distributed to the Senators and also “tender some exhibits.”

    2. Ita Enang – Now presidential senior assistant on Senate matters, he was in the 7thSenate, representing Akwa Ibom North, and serving as the Chairman of the Rules and Business. In January, he was accused of complicity in the “missing” 2016 budget during the budget impasse. Specifically, he was accused of “doctoring” the budget proposal which had earlier been presented by President Muhammadu Buhari.
   Contacted in the wake of the allegation by PREMIUM TIMES, he said he was between “my two bosses,” preferring not to refute or admit the charge. In the forgery suit brought against the Senate leaders, he “will tell the court the position of the Senate Standing Order 2011 vis a vis purported Standing Order 2015.” Further, the Federal Government will rely on him to testify that the “proposal for the amendment of the 2011 Senate Standing Order was neither considered nor adopted.”


    3. Solomon Ewuga – He was a member of the 7th Senate. He did not return to the 8th Senate, having pursued a failed governorship ambition in Nasarawa State. He is expected to “tell the court what he knows of the Senate Standing Order 2011” and “shall testify that the 7th Senate did not amend the 2011 Senate Standing Order.


    4. Ogozy Nma – A National Assembly bureaucrat who is the Secretary Committee on Rules and Business. The Rules and Business Committee is regarded as the “life wire” of the legislature as it is responsible for scheduling of legislative businesses, including amendment of rules.
   By virtue of Mr. Nma’s schedules, the Federal Government wants him to tell the court “what he knows of the forged Senate Standing Order.” He might be required to tender some exhibits in court.


    5. Daniel Adem – He is the Secretary of the Directorate of Legal Services of the National Assembly. He will also tell the court what he knows of the Senate Standing Order.

    6. Dan’Azumi Doma – He led the investigation of the alleged conspiracy and forgery as the Deputy Inspector General of Police in charge of CIID. He will tell the court how the case was investigated and the outcome of the investigation. In his report, he had said the Senate Rules were actually altered with valid procedures stipulated by the extant rules that are the 2011 Rules. He will most likely tender the police investigative report before the court.

    7. Ahmed Lawan – He was supported by the APC leadership to contest the Senate leadership position against Mr. Saraki. He was defeated. And Mr. Saraki refused to appoint him Senate Leader as demanded by the leadership of the ruling APC. In his statement to the police, he said,

“The procedures for election into the two presiding offices are clearly stipulated in Order 2 (2(i) of the Senate Standing Rules 2011. That contrary to the provision of the above order, the Clerk to the National Assembly introduced and used order 3(3) e (ii) of the purported 2015 Standing Order”.

He will therefore inform the court “that the Senate Standing Order 2011 was never amended”.

    8. Abdullahi Gumel – A serving Senator who supported Mr. Lawan’s ambition as member of the Unity Forum, will inform the court that he was given the 2011 Rules during the induction course of the 8th Assembly, yet a “forged” 2015 Rules was used for the inauguration of the 8thAssembly days after the induction course.

    9. Kabiru Marafa – The Zamfara Central Senator is Mr. Saraki’s most outspoken and harshest critic in the Senate. On different occasions, he asked Mr. Saraki to resign to

“save the image of the Senate”

or that his colleagues should impeach him (Mr. Saraki) in view of the Senate President’s corruption trial at the Code of Conduct Tribunal. The Federal Government wants him to inform the court that the 2011 Rules were never amended to prove that the 2015 Rules were altered “without procedure.”

    10. Gbenga Ashafa – The Lagos Senator will inform the 7th Senate did not amend the Rules, thereby stating that 2015 Rules used for election of Messrs Saraki and Ekweremadu was not valid, and as such the election was null and void.

    11. Ajayi Boroffice – The Ondo Senator known as loyalist of former Lagos Governor Bola Tinubu will also inform the court that Senate Standing Order 2011 was never amended.

    12. Abu Ibrahim – He was the Deputy Minority Whip in the 7th Senate. He will also inform the court the document was not amended. It should be noted that he was part of the leadership of the 7thSenate which, according to Mr. Efeturi, passed the order to “amend” the Senate Rules.

    13. David Igbodo – He is an Assistant Commissioner of Police who was part of the investigation. He will also inform the court how the case was investigated and the outcome of the investigation.

    14. Babafemi Ojudu – He served in the 7th Senate, representing Ekiti Central. He will inform the court that the 7th Senate, of which he was member, did not amend the 2011 Rules.

VERY FUNNY!! 13 Extremely Funny Quotes By “President Robert Mugabe” On Relationships
    Here are some funny quotes you all need to see.. Read below:-
   1. “Some women’s legs are like rumors, they just keep on spreading”
    2. “It’s hard to bewitch African girls these days because each time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire”.
    3. “If you are ugly; you are ugly – stop talking about inner beauty because we don’t walk around with X-rays”
    4. “Dear sister, don’t be deceived by a man who text you “I miss you” only when it’s raining. You are not an umbrella”.
   5. “Check your girlfriend’s body, if she has more tattoos or piercings, you can cheat on her. She is already used to pain.”
  6. “Dating a slim or slender guy is cool. The problem is when you are lying on his chest then his ribs draw adidas lines on your face”.
   7. “It’s better for a man to be stingy with the money he has hustled for, than for a woman to deny you a hole that she didn’t even drill it herself.”
 8. “Some of you girls can’t even jog for 5 minutes but expect a guy to last in bed with you for 2hours??? Your level of selfishness demands a one week crusade”.  .  . 9. “If your girlfriend/boyfriend has not taken a picture with you before just make that request and stop forcing Photo Grid to bring you together.”
    10. ”God is the best inventor ever. He took a rib from a man and created a loudspeaker”.
    11. ”If women think having their period (menstruation) in a whole month is a difficult task, they should ask the men how difficult is it to control an erected pen*s in public.”
   12. “Some girls don’t attend the gym but look physically fit because of running from one man to another”
   13. “When you kiss a girl from another nationality, do it well because you represent the whole country” Which of the Quote do you like most? Drop your Comments.

     

  According to this young man who wrote to Us, he lost a job offer because he was listening to LilKesh’s smash hit ‘Efejoku’. 

 Read the hilarious story below:-
Read more